There is nothing quite like a local newspaper to really get to grips with the big stories of the day. We would like to read all about the sensational scoops and hard-hitting exposés happening down your way, from "Ducks Seen in Local Pond" to "Vicar Opens New Bus Shelter". Please send us any funny quotes and headlines - the duller the better.
Send us your local paper gems!
Best submissions so far:
Woman Gives Birth To Baby and Schools Finish For Holidays, Wrexham Leader.
local man spots over 20 ducks in pond - the echo
The end of my life, says dead man. Herty Lincolnshire
The Week is over: The shock of the week being over. After events in the week made the week fly by (apparently) From Wisley Surrey
large line at co-op causes distress
HALLOWE'EN HEAVEN AS MUM GETS 100 TRICK OR TREATERS- "More than 100 children came to the door and they all behaved brilliantly."
Hertfordshire Mercury, Nov 3rd 2006
"Banned as a hoodie-the woman of 61 in a cardigan from M&S" THE DAILY MAIL Nov 1st
"WW2 bombs not recyclable" - West Somerset Free Press.
KLEIN SHORT MANCHESTER
DUCK RESCUED FROM CHIP PAN FIRE HELL HOUSE HORROR. HERALD EXPRESS TORQUAY DEVON
Wirral Globe. 01.11.06
‘You must not touch or feel people’s muscles’ - Judge
A JUDGE has ordered a man from Liverpool not to feel other people's muscles.
Akinwale Arobieke, 45, was also banned from measuring muscles and asking people to do squat exercises in public.
Behn from Plymouth
Plymouth Evening Herald strikes again on the 1st November - ALCOHOLIC THREW PIE IN QUEUE AT CO-OP
Mikey Davidson, Manchester
Manchester Evening News: Dog Keeps Barking!
"Get Creative With Conifers" -Waterside Herald
"BABY MASSAGE" -Waterside Herald
witney gazette, wednesday 26th october, local man spots plane at RAF base
North Devon Gazette: Oi! That's my bike
The audacious theft of a bicycle from Barnstaple police station had a happy ending when its owner arrested a man riding it a few days later.
"Fly Paper Traps Yachts" Waterside Herald
Littlehampton Gazette: 'Arundel Fire Station burns down', followed by...'Fire service admits: 'We had no smoke alarm'.
Jemma from Surrey
FAMILY MEAL RUINED BY URINE THROWER
A family meal at a New Malden restaurant took an unexpected turn when a total stranger walked in off the street and threw urine over diners and their food, shouting ''This is for you''
(Kingston Guardian, Thursday October 26th)
(Liverpool Echo Oct 27) Driver ran over Police out out fear.
'We don't want it on our doorstep!' - Chad Newspaper - Mansfield, Nottingham
A responsible debate should begin - The Milton Keynes Citizen
"James, 4, is such a laugh" - Southern Daily Echo
"Thanks to all concerned in mine clearance" - Southern Daily Echo
allison from swansea
"WHIP-ROUND FOR SPEED GUN"" south wales evening post.
The Stevenage Herald - 'OAP's SCARED; CRIME SPREE CONTINUES' - OAP's frightened as local store has been robbed. Police believe it could be the same criminal as when the newspapers were stolen.
Lee from Blackpool
In the Gazette, Friends of Loie Horrocks park are having a BULB PLANTING SESSION on wednesday from 1:30 'til dusk. You are advised to bring your own trowel.
Rival train drivers get hitched - Shrewsbury Chronicle
James in Cork
"FLASHER WARNING TO LOCAL WOMEN"
Flasher's hot dog excuse is rejected - Guernsey Press 10th October 2006
Pub told to get noise advice - Shropshire Star
'Milk bottle smashed on path police are searching for a black dressed man who was seen at the time'
adam from rotherham
Pensioners fish and chips stolen. The Rotherham Record. On 11th October.
''Come and say hi to a kitesurfer.'' Evening star ipswich (pg 8) 17/10/06
Kristofer Crockard, N. Ireland
Lost hamster found at bake sale.
"tenbys back on the map"
Fungi Grows on grass
Andover Advertiser: Better awareness of mental health.
Derek Gil, Salisbury
From the 'Scarborough Today' local news paper... Cops spent five days monitoring an unexpoded "bomb" found on a beach in Scarborough - before realising it was a TRAFFIC CONE!!
"School students celebrate GCSE results"
"Ashby School discover GCSE grades have gone down since last year"
all from the same newspaper
on the front page of 'The Ashby Leader"
Liverpool Echo - man trips over chewing gum and takes council to court!
The Kidderminster Shuttle-Over 50s given say on issues
The Evening Express Aberdeen- "Free Organist Show Must See"
"HOUSES TO BE BUILT ON WASTE LAND!"
Barry and Disctrict News reported a while ago
SHOPPING TROLLY ROLLS OFF PAVEMENT
Local Yellow Advertiser:-
URBAN FOXES ARE STEALING OUR HUBCAPS, SAY ELM PARK RESIDENTS.....
FRY-UP ON BREAKFAST MENU
(News Post Leader-northumberland)
'PENSIONERS COW SEX SHAME' A 67 year old Nailsea man caught with a small set of steps tryin to have intercourse with a cow. Clevedon Mercury
Surrey Advertiser - may 2006 - "Cowpie show has it all"
"Car Driven Away"
Top regional reporting on an earth-shattering discovery, courtesy of 'Leamington Spa Times' Sept 27th 2006.
Lizzy King Hampshire
"ED IS OUR NEW COMPOST KING" Romsey Avertiser. Lucky Ed!!
"VANDALS RIP OFF SAINTLY FINGERS", Worcester News on 10.10.06
Hot weather causes water usage increase.
Bexhill Observer - Woman Falls Into Recycling Bin
"SHIRLEY'S LONG WALK AGONY" The herald express in south devon.
"WATCH OUT BELOW AS PEARS DROP OFF TREES" is front page news in the Berrow's Worcester Journal.
Peter the hamster goes missing volunteers needed! PLEASE HELP!-Echo newspaper
local newspaper in malaysia
"man dies of natural causes"
Mike Davidson, Manchester
"FESTIVAL WILL MAKE NOISE", Manchester Evening news
From the News and Star 2nd October: SIGNS MARK DISC ZONES - 'Signs will be placed in Eden disc parking zones to inform drivers they need to display a disc.' And from the 29th September: CHARITY SHOP OPENING DELAY - 'The opening of a new charity shop has been postponed due to illness.'
West Leigh Journal - Child found in school.
Whitby Gazette 29/9: "Police race to sweet theft" - 'Three police cars sped to a Whitby shop on Sunday afternoon...arriving at around 2pm, they discovered children had tried to steal sweets...'
Angelic carol singer was hardened thief.........
from the Portsmouth News
'Dave keeps the secret of a giant puffball'
MUSHROOM hunter Dave Lunn likes nothing more than scoffing his latest finds with bacon and egg. But the father-of-two might have some problems with his latest find, after picking up a 3lb puffball mushroom found in a field near Swindon.
'CYCLE SURGERY AT SUPERMARKET'
A cycle surgery will run from Tesco in Prestwich to assist bikers taking part in the store's Bike Active event in Heaton Park.
(Prestwich & Whitefield Guide)
EGGS TO GET GIRLS INTO ENGINEERING..."Girls at a Bristol independant school are being offered the chance to learn more about engineering-using eggs"
( Bristol Evening Post 19/9)
Simon Gardner, Telford
Wedding car arrives - a year late (from the Shropshire Star)
Shropshire woman Debbie Reynolds was bursting with happiness as she dressed up in the smartest outfit in her wardrobe for her sister Marie’s wedding.
The seconds ticked by and her joy turned to misery when the taxi failed to turn up on the big day, leaving her stranded at home.
But, better late than never, the taxi did eventually show up - one year later to the day, and dead on time.
Miss Reynolds said she was astonished when the taxi rolled up at her house - but could now see the funny side.
The Bristol Evening Post 22/9..CHILDREN CHEER AS KITCHEN ROOF IS LOWERED INTO PLACE..
local paper News and Star with 'HAMPER OF GOODIES FOR PRINCE EDWARD'
OUTRAGE OVER WHEELIE BIN SYSTEM and ANGER AT MISSING WHEELIE BINS, both Horncastle Today
ELMWOOD EXCITED BY BADER GARDEN PROJECT Fife Today
Wheelie bins will work well - Kenilworth Today
'Goosecarr Lane right turn should stay' from Dinnington Today
Teacher leaves school - Bury St Edmonds Today
First day back at school – Bognor News
From Wigan Evening Post "Lost Man; Found"
COMPOST BIN SALE SUCCESS - from the Redditch Advertiser
The Courier (from camberley and yateley) "Artist draws on memory"
MICK'S KILLER HAS TO BE OUT THERE,SOMEWHERE. - Swindon advert
"City centre cattle drive" Glasgow Evening Times
"Vicor is taken back by unexpected mass swan attack on the villages church gardens" - East Yorkshire Mail
East grinstead courier- VICAR CELEBRATES WINNING BOOT THROW
London Metro "Days of a loaf are numberd" on tuesday 26th september 2006
Chicken hut wins award - KENILWORTH TODAY
Eileen celebrates 100th birthday - HORSHAM TODAY
LIBRARY OPENS IT'S DOORS - Horsham Today
Bridge Unveiling Date Revealed! HARWICK TODAY
Liz Bridgestock, Hull
SWIMMING POOL TO BE DEMOLISHED - Grantham Today
DENTAL HYGIENE ON THE INCREASE Dearne Today
It's a guillemot - but what's it doing here? Chorley Today
South Wales Echo, 26 September 2006 - HERNIA SURGEON VISITS CAERPHILLY.
Milton Keynes News, 20 September 2006 - STEAM ENGINE MAKES ITS WAY TO WOLVERTON.
man in wheelchair finally walks- rhymney express
Matt Jones, Manchester
Manchester Evening News 21.09.06, "SAUCY PET IN DOGHOUSE", a Dog with a liking for womens underwear landed his owner with a £1,000 vert bill after swalling 2 pairs of lacy knickers.
Rory Redgrave - Close
"Miners Mine Down to reach Miners who were Mining Down in the Mine" - East Yorkshire Mail
Susan Barlow from Wigan
Leigh Journal - "Members wanted", plus a few pages later "Hoist with no battery keeps me a prisoner".
Rory Rc (mines at the top)
Animal Right Protesters, Protest in City Center.
COUPLE ADAMANT AFFRIC ROCK OUTCROP LOOKS LIKE JESUS - From the Press and Journal 23rd September, and still available on the website
A UNIFORMLY GOOD RESPONSE:
Headteacher David Hermitt has been pleased with pupils response to a new dress code initiative.
"In the first week of term the vast majority of students have worn their uniform correctly, and the few who have not we have contacted their parents."
(Congleton Guardian Sep 22)
taken from the birmingham mail 20/9/06. page 9
Sara from Newport
South Wales Echo, 20 Sept 2006 - MAN ASKED CABBIE TO WAIT WHILE HE BURGLED HOUSE.
A cheeky burglar asked an unsuspecting taxi driver to keep his meter running while he burgled a house in a plush Cardiff suburb.
The driver was asked to wait outside.
But when the fare came out of a house carrying a stereo system, the cabbie became suspicious.
Town Hit by Cat Flap Burglaries
Are burglars that desparate to steal cat flaps?
Dorking Advertiser, "DUCK MATING FRENZY CAUSES CONCERN"
DRUNKEN MAN STOLE TIARA FROM BROTHEL
From Brighton Argus
A jobless hairdresser broke into a brothel ans stole a £1.00 tiara after dancing in the street with his trousers around his ankles.
"Nudists found in the Nude"-
East Yorkshire mail
" A woman who claimed she was trying to cheat on a drug test was behind a bizarre incident in which a frightened convenience store clerk thought she had microwaved a severed penis, police said."
ART CASH SNUB
Gipsies and travellers will be given £20,000 for an arts project they dont want.
Simon Gardner, Telford
Mum Savours Marmite Puppies
A Shropshire woman used the magic of Marmite to persuade a reluctant canine mum to look after her litter of 11 boxer pups.
As reported in the Shropshire Star on Friday August 25th 2006
Now thats a McSandwich - A super-sized lorry became wedged for nearly three hours on one of Shrewsbury’s busiest town centre roads when the driver got stuck while trying to do a three-point turn today.The 52ft-long McDonald’s delivery truck became jammed on Town Walls with its trailer down Crescent Lane and the cab turned on to the Town Walls.
Has a great picture too.
In the Shropshire Star Newspaper 19/09/2006
Derby Evening Telegraph "NOW, EVERYONE CAN SEE UPSTAIRS"
Derby Evening Telegraph : "BACKSTAGE TOURS OF HOSPITAL ON OFFER" 19/09/06
The Northumberland Gazette proclaims "NO AL-QAEDA IN SEAHOUSES, ANNOUNCES CHIEF CONSTABLE".
The Witney Gazette made big news of "BIN COLLECTIONS TO GO FORTNIGHTLY"
WHEELY BIN SETS TEENAGERS ON FIRE.
Mr. A. Menzies
"GOLF CART STOLEN BY UNDER-SEVENS;
Infant travellers stole an electric golf buggy and proceeded to weave a low speed chase across Newbold Comyn - with indignant players, pedestrians and dog walkers in hot pursuit." (Lemmington Spa Today)
"WALKERS BRAVE THE RAIN" (Front page news - Hebden Bridge Today)
Barney Lewis, Haverhill
The Haverhill Echo asks "ARE YOUR EARS FELLING LOPSIDED? A Gold coloured earring has been handed into the Echo offices."
"CHURCH DOOR 'IRREPAIRABLE' AFTER VANDALISM" says DISS EXPRESS
'Blyth-Wansbeck Today' leads with "APPEAL AFTER THIEVES STEAL RARE TORTOISE FROM PET SHOP"
Also making the top stories -
"AN APPLICATION TO ERECT A CONSERVATORY IN ASHINGTON HAS BEEN TURNED DOWN"
"COCKEREL GETS GAGGING ORDER - Crowing cockerel Charlie has fallen foul of the law" Borders Today
The Plymouth Evening Herald led with "FISH SPILL CAUSES TRAFFIC CHAOS"
on Tuesday 12th.
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